Comparison gets in the way of self-compassion

“If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.” -Max Ehrmann in “Desiderata”

“The seaweed is always greener in somebody else’s lake." -Sebastian to Arial in The Little Mermaid

“The comparison mandate becomes this crushing paradox of ‘fit in and stand out!’ It’s not cultivate self-acceptance, belonging, and authenticity, it’s be just like everyone else, but better.” -Brene Brown in The Gifts of Our Imperfections

Nothing has transformed my life more than realizing it’s a waste of time to evaluate my worthiness by weighing the reaction of the people in the stands.” -Brene Brown in Daring Greatly

"Comparison is the thief of joy" -Theodore Roosevelt 

“Each one began to look at the other and to want to be looked at himself, and public esteem had a value…And this was the first step toward inequality and, at the same time, toward vice. From these first preferences were born vanity and contempt on the one hand, and shame and envy on the other.” -Rousseau in The Social Contract

“What makes this constant assessing and comparing so self-defeating is that we are often comparing our lives, our marriages, our families and our communities to unattainable, media-driven visions of perfection, or we’re holding up our reality against our own fictional account of how great someone else has it. Nostalgia is also a dangerous form of comparison.” -Brene Brown in Daring Greatly 

“Our judgment of what constitutes an appropriate limit on anything—for example, on wealth or esteem—is never arrived at independently; instead, we make such determinations by comparing our condition with that of a reference group, a set of people who we believe resemble us…Status anxiety is the feeling that we might, under different circumstances, be something other than what we are—a feeling inspired by exposure to the superior achievements of those whom we take to be our equals—that generates anxiety and resentment.” -Alain De Botton in Status Anxiety

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